so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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