I think my fart just growled at me.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
