if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Your penis caused this!
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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