ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
