is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
