NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
you win again, gameday.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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