Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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