Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
