There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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