Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
