do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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