Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
