I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
