I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
nutella sex= disaster
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
