I feel like abortions should bother me more
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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