Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
