somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
