I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
