The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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