yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
