She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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