I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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