I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
