She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
