I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
