Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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