ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize