VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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