can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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