seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
