Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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