I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
We left the knife in your bed.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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