Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
it glows. i had to have it.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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