Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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