He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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