Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
