This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
