What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
