I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
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