and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
