Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
