You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
