i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
she smelled like a LAN party
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
