I molested 6 butterflies tonight
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
