Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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