they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
