I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
