My hand turned me down
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Randomize
