I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
