I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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